‘Floral or spicy? Whisper or roar?’ I have never before been asked questions like this by a bartender, but then I have never before ordered absinthe in a Parisian cabaret club, or anywhere else for that matter.
Tonight, however, I am in Chat Noir, a reincarnation of the original Le Chat Noir, which opened in the late 1800s in Montmartre, the lively Paris district known for its raucous nightlife.
Home to taverns and brothels, where pleasure-seekers indulged in absinthe and opium, it is perhaps apt that Montmartre spawned what is thought to be the world’s first cabaret club.
Attracting hedonistic aristocrats and bohemians, Le Chat Noir bustled with poets, playwrights and artists, including Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, who gathered to watch the on-stage entertainment while enjoying an absinthe drip, or fontaine.
And so it is this evening that I find myself choosing an absinthe, a spicy one that roars, with the help of ‘Gigi’, who might be best described as an actress playing a waitress. Chat Noir is an immersive theatre-style dining experience, and everyone is in character.
Outside, rather than a red carpet there is a black one, and once inside the big black doors, it is no longer 2026. Instead, it is the 1890s, for this pop-up experience is a theatrical curtsy to Le Chat Noir at the peak of its notoriety, and the performers are not the only ones in character.
Messaged ahead of my booking, I am told: ‘You are French. The performers are French. The room, the customs, the language, everything is exactly as it should be. Naturally, you understand everything. If, at any point, you think you’re hearing English… you’re just exceptionally fluent.’
The dress code is inspired by vintage Parisian style, described on the website as: ‘French noir glamour, silks, velvets and waistcoats, smoky eyes and dark lips. Come as an aristocrat or a bohemian or blur the lines between them.’
It is with this in mind that I search through my wardrobe and pull out a clinging red Roberto Cavalli creation. It is so de trop that I have had no occasion to wear it since buying it on impulse 20 years ago from a vintage shop in Covent Garden.
At Chat Noir, surrounded by corsets, cravats, white tie and wigs, my dress is not de trop, even when combined with black evening gloves and a black feather headpiece. It is as if this soirée has been conjured up to give me an excuse to wear it.
And so it is that I arrive to the sound of Chat Noir’s house band, Les Enfants Vagabondes, and take my seat at a stage-side table. I am joined by my friend Anna, with whom I share a carafe of white wine and a bread basket filled with hunks of baguette.
We both have silverskin onions and cornichons, but as a vegan, Anna has the mushroom pâté with truffle and thyme, while I have the house pâté with brandy and vermouth, along with Brie and slices of saucisson.
On stage, we are entertained by Rodolphe Salis, the charismatic owner of the real Le Chat Noir, played tonight by the actor Joe Morrow.
As compère, Rodolphe Salis takes the stage between acts with more saucy patter than a market trader selling sex toys. I laugh out loud more than one might like to while eating coq au vin. This is my main course. It is delicious, so I do not want to waste it, but the innuendo crescendo delivered with such panache by Joe Morrow, combined with my proximity to the band, means that violin player Guy Button may have gone home with my half-chewed chicken embedded in the back of his shirt.
There is singing, dancing, mime and magic, but the acts are not random. Instead, renowned performers of the Belle Époque era are played by talented performers of today.
Cléo de Mérode, a French dancer who has been described as the first celebrity icon, is played by burlesque performer Coco Belle. Yvette Guilbert, the French cabaret singer known for her performances at Le Chat Noir, is played by Issy Wroe Wright. Paul Legrand, a highly regarded French mime artist, is played by Alexander Luttley, aka Pi the Mime, and Joseph Buatier, best known as Buatier de Kolta, is played by Magic Circle member Neil Kelso.
Anna’s main course is chartreuse de légumes, which she describes as a dome of grilled vegetables on creamy mashed potatoes, wrapped in cabbage. It is after the mains have been cleared away that Gigi slinks by to ask if we would like to try an absinthe drip.
I have no idea what this is and hope it does not involve needles, as I am picturing a syringe injecting absinthe into my veins, like an intravenous drip.
I have already kicked off the evening with Champagne before sharing wine with Anna, and even without that, I would not be too sure about flooding my bloodstream with absinthe. I got lost enough on the way here, and I fear that if I mainline absinthe, I might not make it back to 2026.
Luckily, the absinthe drip is more like a water dispenser, a fountain, or fontaine. Filled with ice cubes and water, it is used to dilute the absinthe, which is served not via a syringe, but in a glass covered with a perforated spoon topped with a sugar cube.
Anna and I share the fountain, which has a tiny tap on either side. With our glasses placed beneath the taps, we drip water onto the sugar cubes and into our glasses, diluting the absinthe and sweetening it as the sugar dissolves. This releases the absinthe’s botanicals and turns it cloudy, which is apparently known as the ‘louche’.
Neither of us is a massive fan of absinthe itself, but the fun of the fountain makes up for the taste. And hey, when in 1890s Paris…
I round off the evening with tarte au citron, while Anna enjoys lemon and strawberry sorbet. However, even if you are off pudding in an effort to keep your corset cinched, I would recommend staying for the final number to applaud dancer Cléo de Mérode, who definitely does not worry about keeping her corset cinched.
Outside, I step not into Paris’s Montmartre, but London’s West Kensington, with the Tube station three minutes around the corner. Chat Noir is not just a step back in time, but an evening outside the ordinary. Would I return? Bien sûr!
Tickets are currently available for Chat Noir until the end of July, with new dates to be released beyond that. Visit www.chatnoirlondon.com
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